I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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