Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
