My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just tell him i said nine months
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
