I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
