Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its not stalking. its research.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
