Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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