I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
