we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
