what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
