I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
