so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
