Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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