I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Will exercising make me less horny?
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