Do you still have your period?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
