wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
