You just made me feel so damn special
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
