what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
