At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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