there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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