Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
