is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
