Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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