the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
