Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
