Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
