belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
where are you?
Hypothermia
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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