i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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