is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
