it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You took a bar mat shot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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