im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
