I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
