ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
