Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
