He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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