Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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