at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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