that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
