It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
