i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
