Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
