im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
