Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
