the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
