My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
