Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
