The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
