Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
