That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize