So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
