Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
