just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
