I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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