oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I smell like Dick and happiness
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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